PaigeFTW: ‘Avengers Academy’ Wastes Time, Ruins Lives
Back in the early ‘00s, I used to love X-Men Evolution. If you remember it, then you remember that it was actually a pretty quality show about the X-Men … if they were all in high school. Watch it on Netflix. It’s worth it!
Anyway, when I heard there was going to be a mobile game based on the Avengers in college, well, you can guess what I did first.
So, let’s talk Avengers Academy.
Bright, cheerful redesigns of the iconic Avengers work really well, and their adolescent personae are endearing, bolstered by a star-studded voice cast (including John Cena as Hulk because … why not). The storyline — what I’ve uncovered of it, at least — implies that it is quite possible that these youthful Avengers were brought in to replace another set of very dead Avengers, or at least did some time traveling (maybe).
If you’ve ever played Family Guy: The Quest for Stuff, this game is basically that. It’s all about resource management in this sedate, plodding crawl towards building this college campus for heroes. You send people on errands to collect enough textbooks or jet engines or whatever, you upgrade heroes and you eventually form the Avengers. There is no fighting. There is no strategy. You just manage time.
Did I mention that this game is slow? This is game is slow. It takes Iron Man eight hours to learn about the history of women. Loki masters the dance floor two hours at a time. Over and over and over and over again.
I could, of course, fork over massive amounts of real-life money to speed things along, but I would pay $100 for a box of in-game gold only after I’ve won the Powerball lottery, when I have transcended such fleeting concerns.
I could conclude by saying that this game’s strengths are overwhelmed by its horrific gameplay, but I’ve also played it religiously for the last week. I recommend it only to the very patient or very wealthy.
